The Story of Your Birth

You were always a big baby, even before you were born. You were such a big boy, we thought for sure you'd come early. And I was so ready for you! Your daddy and I just knew you were coming early. I was so sure, I took vacation from work before my maternity leave, so I could be home already when you were born. But I guess you changed your mind, because week after week went by and you never came. A week after your due date, the doctor advised us not to wait any longer. You had stopped growing, and I lost weight during the week of Christmas. (I was eating plenty too, so that made it even worse!)

So on Wednesday, January 4th, 2012 at 6:00am, Daddy and I headed to the hospital. The nurses got me ready, and at 7 the doctor got there. He tried to break my water, and thought he had it. But no luck. That was probably the most painful part of the entire experience for me. It was awful! They started me on oxytocin to start my contractions. And then we just waited.

Hours later, I was still not having contractions. The nurse tried again to break my water and still no luck. My cervix was to high and I wasn't dilated enough.

At 12, the doctor came back and thankfully this time, he got it! My contractions started soon after that. At first they weren't so bad. But soon they were coming every minute and lasting 30 seconds. I had no chance to rest between them, as wave after wave of pain rolled over me.

Daddy was so good. He remembered all the tricks from lamaze class and talked me through each contraction. Eventually though, we decided it would be best for us all if I had an epidural. It's a good thing I did too, because we had to wait another 8 hours before anything else happened. And 8 hours of contractions just might have killed me. :)

At 8, I was fully dilated and ready to push. The room was full of people: your Daddy, Aunt Elora, Dr. Dupuch, Dr. Lochan, Nurse Gail, another nurse. They were all shouting at me "PUSH HARDER!" I pushed so hard my brain felt like it might pop. I wanted to scream back, "I AM PUSHING!" And they kept saying "Just one more". After what felt like 100 of "just one more" pushes, I was almost ready to give up.

All of a sudden there was a rush of activity around me. The nurses and doctor were rushing around. I had no idea what was going on and no one would tell me. But then suddenly, there you were. All little and wrinkly, and funny looking like Smeagol! I got to hold you for a few precious minutes and then you were whisked away to get weighed and measured and cleaned up.

Meanwhile the doctor was stitching me up. I found out later that they tried using the vacuum on you, but your head was so swollen it couldn't get a good suction. Finally, they had to give me an episiotomy and pull you out with forceps. That explains why your head was so funny shaped. :)

It was a very rough experience. Your dad was so proud of me. He said at the end, I was like an athlete striving for that gold metal. He also said he felt like he was in a war movie. There was one moment that stands out in my mind especially. When you were finally out, I looked down at the doctor. He was holding his hands up and they were drenched in blood. I couldn't believe that all came from me! It was a terrifying moment.

But you're here now, and so worth it. We were surrounded by people who love us, Ben Ben. Daddy, Mimi, Grandpa, Aunties Elora and Dyah, and Uncle Naldo were all there when you were born. Auntie Angie and Aunt Hannah came to visit earlier in the day, and Lydia and Chauntez snuck in after visiting hours just to see you for the first time. You are so loved. My little Smeagol baby!

Hello my Ben Ben

Photo taken by Aunt Elora

Oh my Ben Ben! Time goes by so fast. I can't believe you're two months old already. You've passed so many milestones already. Every time you do something new I think, "This is it, the big moment. I'll remember this forever". And yet, the moment fades away and so does my memory of it. I blame the lack of sleep (which is technically your fault, kiddo).

So here's my way of capturing each precious moment with you: your birth, first week at home, first smile, and soon your first tooth, first day of (home)school, first love...as many firsts as God allows.

I love you Ben Ben. Don't you ever forget that!